Second Guess

It was the perfect date.  After two and a half hours at a quiet, low-key pub, he and I had connected on every entry level of our background, interests, and intellect.  Finally!  A guy that didn't feel like he had to quote Walt Whitman or Shakespeare to impress me!  He had not only heard of my favorite bluegrass band, but knew the name of the lead singer and mandolin-player.  He had ridden his bike to the bar, but yet didn't chug his drink in a minute out of thirst, as most men would.  We had talked for hours, and when I excused myself to the restroom, he had paid the check.  (Note: men in NY generally only pay for their own drinks.)  We weren't making out by the end of the night, but that hadn't been my intention.

We left the bar, and he offered to walk me in the direction of my bus.  We reflected a bit on the date, laughed and joked around, but when we reached the busiest corner, and his intended stopping point, he said:

"You know, this was a lot of fun, but in terms of dating, I'm looking for something pretty specific."

I laughed, somewhat out of disbelief.  What specifically are you looking for?  We hugged (… intentionally did not use the term "embraced" out of spite for this situation) and he turned and left.  I crossed the street and walked through the fog of rejection.  What had gone wrong?  And how had I not seen it coming??  The Queen of Red Flag-Spotting had been fooled.

I spent the next two hours second-guessing myself, doubting my ability to understand a basic human interaction.  Was it because I'd decided to wear the blue heels instead of the tan?  Was it my shirt, or my hair?  Did I have an annoying habit that he couldn't stand?  Did I drink too much?  Was I slouching?  Did I talk about myself too much, or not ask enough questions?  What could have possibly gone wrong??

After sitting on a park bench venting my frustrations to my older sis, we came to the conclusion that, aside from the fact that men are dicks, sometimes these rejections are a good thing.  It's better to have a man be up-front and honest about his feelings, no matter how vague or seemingly irrational, than to waste precious time waiting for him to call.

Thank God he wasn't that attractive.